Fireworks enchant us. They suggest fantasy and fun with fleeting moments of intense spark. That's why sex and fireworks are so often compared. But admit it, your sex life may have fizzled like an aerial display above a gloomy harbor.
What is always the first step to changing things up? That's right, admit there's a problem. Look, there's no sense in either of you feeling obliged to have boring sex, then rolling over to stare at the ceiling only to ask yourself, "What was that?"
Next step? Admit your boredom. Yep, take a risk. Let your partner know that you've gotten bored. Don't blame your partner for your boredom because you'll really cause hurt feelings. Best to have the conversation outside the bedroom instead of right after that wimpy or nonexistent climax.
Third step? Take responsibility. Talk to your partner about the fact that you haven't added anything to the fireworks cache, either. Let your partner know that you're also open to suggestions. Besides, it may even be more feedback that is missing for you.
Fourth: Figure out the core of the problem. Do you need more of a warm-up before you even get down to foreplay? More oral sex? Want your neck licked? Or maybe you need a different environment, different music, a massage…
Fifth: Experiment, and keep experimenting. As Carrie suggested in the "Sex and the City" flick, you've got to color outside the lines.