In my article on why sex in marriage goes sour, the last reason I gave was that many people expect their partner to just "know" what it is they want when they make love, all without speaking a word.
Ah, that it 'twas so easy! You know, when you're an infant, it's not so hard to figure out your needs–you need food, a burp, or a cuddle. When you're an adult, forget it. You're just too complex for anyone to guess–especially when it comes to sex!
Think about it. There's your partner, not feeling so terribly confident about his or her ability to please you sexually, or feeling a little embarrassed about trying something new. Your partner really wants to be a good lover, and they try. But then they do something you don't really like, and you freeze up or push their hand away or yelp, "Stop!"
And then I know what you do: You harumph to yourself and inwardly roll your eyes and you think, "If my partner really loved me, they'd know what to do."
Rubbish. Knowing what to do has everything to do with communication and not much to do with love.
The good news is that after awhile, if you do tell your partner what to do in bed, you'll find that sex really becomes so great that it is as if your partner really can read your mind.
But you have to lay the foundation for that. So speak up and tell your partner what you like all along the way, from how you want to be approached to how you want your partner to kiss you, rub you, and lick you, all the way to how you want to be cuddled or caressed afterward.
And put a lid on the wish for "psychic sex"!