Norma and Brett are like a lot of couples that love each other but have found their sex life has gone stale. On a scale from 0 (the worst sex, not even worth having) to 10 (multiple orgasms, falling off the bed, screaming skyrockets sex), their sex life has been a 3.
Except on a recent vacation to Yosemite. They stayed at the historical lodge. They hiked every day. They brought candles and an ipod and speakers loaded with their favorite tunes. They gave each other massages. And they had great sex.
How, they wondered, could they recreate vacation sex at home? It isn't that difficult. Here are some tips.
- Manage your stress levels. If you are taking on so many responsibilities or running in so many directions that you don't have time to take a breath, how are you going to have energy for sex? Guess what? It's okay to say no to all that work so that you actually have time to play.
- Carve out romantic time for the two of you. Of course it's hard to find time, but if you can find time for everything else, you can find time for romance. Even if you have one romantic event to look forward to each week (or every two weeks, or every month), you will find that your relationships takes on bigger importance in your life.
- Transform your bedroom
from an office, library, playroom or whatever back into a love den. One couple I worked with admitted their bedroom was wall to wall boxes. Another, that their bedroom was a sea of beige. Clear out anything that you find distracting and make your bedroom a santuary for sex and sleep.
Norma and Brett were skeptical about my prescription, but they agreed to make some changes. They both back off of some obligations, cleaned up their bedroom of dirty clothing, dry cleaning bags, and magazines, learned to cook a couple of dishes from their favorite vacation spot, and took time to relax a few evenings every week.
"Imagine," Norma said, "what vacation sex will be like now?"