Once upon a time, there was a couple who did everything together. They ate breakfast together. They ate dinner together. They even got on the phone together to talk to either set of parents. On Thursday, they bowled. On Saturday, they shopped. On Sunday, they read the paper aloud to one another.
The couple seemed very happy together. They rarely fought. They rarely disagreed. Their conversations were light, and all was good.
Except they never had sex.
When I say never, I mean never. Not like once every two weeks. Not like once every month. More like not once in 5 years.
How could a couple that was so close never have sex?
Well, there is such a thing as being too close. When a couple melds into a singular person, there's little room left for mystery. Sexual interest wanes. And the couple becomes more like roommates than husband and wife.
Perhaps you can see the advantage of being so close. There's never any conflict, which makes both partners feel safe.
The problem, is of course, that isn't real. Everyone has different needs, ideas, dreams, and opinions.
That's part of what makes us interesting to our partner. Here was someone to get to know–in all ways, include sexual ones.
When a couple is too much the same, too close, they don't leave enough of a gap for a spark. Sex goes cold.
It's healthy to have lives away from one another, to leave a partner guessing a little, or to have some conflict.
Without time apart, there can be little appreciation for time spent together.